Woody Allen has this obsession with death and dying. Here are a few of his best lines on the subject along with some wonderful pop songs about the end of breathing.
I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. – Woody Allen.
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. – Woody Allen.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. – Woody Allen.
Worse than death, too, is to be on life support listening to my loved ones in a heated debate over whether to terminate me and hear my wife say, “I think we can pull the plug, it’s been 15 minutes and we’ll be late for our dinner reservation. – Woody Allen.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? – Woody Allen.
It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune. – Woody Allen
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. – Woody Allen.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. – Woody Allen
I sometimes imagine that death might be more tolerable if I passed away in my sleep, although the reality is, no form of dying is acceptable to me with the possible exception of being kicked to death by a pair of scantily clad cocktail waitresses. – Woody Allen.
And yet, there are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. For instance, I would not like to survive a stroke and for the rest of my life talk out of the side of my mouth like a racetrack tout. I would also not like to go into a coma, to lie in a hospital bed where I’m not dead but can’t even blink my eyes and signal the nurse to switch the channel from Fox News. And incidentally, who’s to say the nurse isn’t one of those angel of death crazies who hates to see people suffer and fills my intravenous glucose bag with Exxon regular. – Woody Allen.
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! – Woody Allen.